Thursday, July 10, 2008

Thelma and Louise, Minus Louise and Brad Pitt



The furthest point in my sales territory is a 3 hour drive from home. When I initially learned of this far, far away podunk town that I was required to visit once a month, I was quite concerned about the enormous distance away from my kids. I envisioned every far-fetched, horrific, disastrous event that could possibly happen to Cole and Patty and I would be a lengthy 3 hours away . Once I came to grips with the fact that Jerry would be capable of handling the catastrophic situation, I thought this destination might evolve into somewhat of a mini “get-away”.


Podunkville has turned into a “Thelma and Louise” type chick empowerment adventure, minus Louise and Brad Pitt. It does suck leaving the house before the sun comes up, however, I have the luxury of getting ready ALONE, with no little mouths requesting the impossible, no refereeing wrestling matches or meltdowns about wanting to wear a bikini top with a miniskirt.

I drive without neon bouncy balls flying into the front seat, no rotater cuff twists reaching towards the backseat, collecting unwanted gum. I am my own DJ of the fabulous Sirius radio. I am not forced to listen to Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers, or Jerry’s fave, the weather station. I pumped up The Clash’s classic: Should I Stay Or Should I Go? on the 80’s station, and there was some serious head-banging going on in my ride. Besides the stellar music, I can catch up with abandoned friends on the cell , without being interrupted constantly that “she hit me!” ,“NO, he hit me first!”

With the exception of a few 18 wheelers, the road is empty. The town I am journeying to is no thriving metropolis, folks. There is open, roasted desert on either side of the desolate freeway, flanked by majestic mountains in the distance, oh, and how perfect, a landfill that you can faintly smell…mmmm. Heaven.


Podunkville is the type of place that you would stop in to pee as a very last resort because you couldn't hold it anymore and your bladder was on the verge of exploding. It’s mostly an impoverished community, dilapidated stores and a few old time gas stations line the crumbling streets. There is a donut shop in a trailer. Yes, a trailer. Popular front yard landscaping trends are ancient, rusted cars up on blocks. There is a nearby casino and grocery store, which are the two major employers in the town. One local exclaimed, “We got a Subway sandwich shop now, woo wee!!!” I remember feeling that way when we first got Nordstrom’s a few years ago. The same thing? Sure it is.

I visit 6 doctors there, who are welcoming and glad to see a rep, which makes the 3 hour trek well worth the haul. It is such a tiny community, when I enter an office, they know instantly that I’m not "from 'round here." Today, a Podunkville citizen affectionately called me, “city slicker.” When he grinned, he resembled a old, leathered jack-o’-lantern, missing a few essential teeth here and there. His wife chuckled at her clever hubby, revealing a matching smile. I guess dental plans are tough to come by ‘round here'.

As I leave Podunkville, I revel in the feeling that I am a strong, independent woman, like Thelma and Louise, out on the open road, living on the edge, well, kinda, after all, I am there to do my job. For just a short time, I get to be just a chick driving with old school music rockin’ in my four door sedan with two booster seats in the back.

6 comments:

Alice said...

Yeah..I love blasting the music when the kids aren't in the car. Oh wait...I blast it while they're in the car too.

BoyChild asked me what "She's lump, she's lump, she's in my head" meant the other day.

No idea BoyChild.

justme said...

love the name of your blog !!!

Anonymous said...

Ahhh..to drive by yourself....lucky girl! I can't remember when the last time I drove my minivan with the "My Child is a Star Student" bumper sticker on the back of it all by myself. At least my kids have good taste in music!!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Sirius Radio? I'm an XM enthusiast. And so it is fated that we must be mortal enemies locked in a bitter and timeless battle.

Sorry about that.

Anonymous said...

Awwww, the joys of getting to drive by yourself for a few hours and listen to what you want, talk to yourself, and sing at the top of your lungs. God, I miss those days. To date, my driving by myself days have amounted to a total of about 20-30 minutes....

I never feel refreshed or free in that time. So, I guess I will keep going, with listening to the Cubs on the radio or rap music....

The joys of being a wife and mother. Lauri

Sus said...

hard as it is to get up early, when I do it's just so wonderful. and driving without children? all that silence emanating from the back seat? nothing better. i think i need to be in sales.