Today, I was able to go to the mall... ALONE, a far off, somewhat mystical place that is OUT OF THE QUESTION to visit with whiny, needy children nipping at my sides. It was purely euphoric, even though it was certainly not leisurely, I was just there to return a skirt that Patty rejected.
I had several flashbacks while inhaling the purely intoxicating retail-laden air. There are several Mall Phases in my life that came crashing back as I passed the perfume squirter ladies.
Cruising the Mall
Early Mall Phase with my best friend, Amy. Our somewhat neglectful parents dropped us off at the mall door with $10. We strolled our giggly little pre-teen selves all over the mall, ALL. DAY .LONG. This was recreational shopping at its finest. We followed boys we thought were cute. We ran into our friends at the food court. At the end of the day, our Jelly-clad feet found the nearest filthy pay phone and called our parents to pick us up. We never got sick of the mall.
Take It Off, It Looks Terrible
AKA: Shopping with Mom. This was general shopping for back to school clothes, or just change of season needs. This was hard core, shop till you drop with Mom, stamping her approval or stating, "Take it off, it looks terrible." This was only done a few times a year, so it was for all the marbles, Olympic-style, marathon, balls to the wall shopping.
We're On A Mission For The Perfect Outfit:
This would be specific shopping for special occasions. Mom was convinced that the perfect outfit was lurking somewhere between the now defunct Diamond's or The Broadway. These occasions included weddings, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, school dances, sorority rush and the last one I can recall: my wedding dress.
Shopping With A Baby
Shopping with a new, little, precious baby, peacefully slumbering in a stroller, getting some out of the house time and still being able to accomplish leisurely shopping and returns of duplicate or hideous baby gifts. Ahhh. The best kind. Too bad it didn't last long.
Shopping With Kids
Lasts 10 minutes because Cole is running into the toy store BEGGING for various toys and Patty is pulling clothes off racks and CRYING and WHINING that she really, really, really, really, really, really, really wants the glittery slutty miniskirt. I can feel my blood pressure exploding, so we promptly leave. Mission Unaccomplished.
I'm sure shopping with teenagers is no better than scratching your eyes out with a fork. That will most likely be the next phase since I am not going to the mall until then, I swear it.
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4 comments:
Ahhh...those Chris Town days...damn I miss them!! Spencers, the Sand Castles, pictures at Woolworths. Priceless memories.
I want to go to the mall alone where no one will call me and ask where the black head is for the lego. Where no one will call and ask when I am coming home. Where no one will call and say on your way home will you go to these two places to get me and Nick something to eat.
I want to go to the Mall, ALONE, too!
Man, I sound like the wicked Mom of the West...but admit it..we always found the perfect outfit..it was so worth it. I must confess..everything you say about my only Granddaughter is oh so true..I tried to take her for the perfect first day of school outfit. Thank the stars I am finally old enough to say enough..Let your Mother take you to the mall....and the beat goes on. Kisses Mom
LOL at this. Especially your mom: "Take it off it looks terrible." I think I may keep that one in my back pocket. We're not pushing a quiet baby around leisurely anymore, but we can still enjoy the local mall qua amusement park. Pet store, rides, dancing to Abercrombie's pounding music: all adds up to one thrilling night for Frannie and Cal, who haven't yet figured out that Mommy and Daddy could potentially (in theory anyway) buy them all that fun to take home.
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